Surviving the Spiritual Father

I was raised as a Jehovah Witness. My mom was in charge of our spiritual guidance because my dad had no religion. My mom told me as I was growing up that my dad's best friend was my spiritual father. He was what they call an Elder, a very well-seen and respected man by the church. He was a man who I looked up to and trusted. One day when I was 9, he called my house, I picked up the phone, and he told me his daughter asked him to call me because she was in the pool and wanted me to go there. In my innocence, I asked my mom for permission. After all, I only had to cross the street and, as far as I knew, my friend was waiting for me. When I arrived at the house, he received me at the gate. I asked for my friend, and he replied, "She is in the backyard. Go to her." As I made my way to the backyard, I looked at the pool, and she was not there. I started calling her and there was no answer. As I turned around, there he was in the kitchen hall waiting for me. I asked where his daughter was, and he replied she was not there, but he felt alone and he missed me, so he called me. He made his way to me and started hugging me very strongly. I remembered everything I was told growing up: 'No one can touch you.' And yet, he was. He was doing everything I was told someone should not do to me. As I cried, I begged him to let me go, but he wouldn't stop. He grabbed me even harder. He was kissing me and touching me. I was this very petite girl, and as I cried, I was able to sneak through his legs and run as fast as I could, taking the spare key since I knew that house very well. He told me not to tell anyone. I ran to my house and sat behind my room door. My sister asked to come in and asked what was wrong. I told her, and she told me not to bother telling my mom because something similar happened to her with him and no one helped her. He denied it and she believed him. She allowed my siblings and I to visit that house even though she knew what happened to my sister. Years went by without me telling my mom. Many aspects of my life got ruined without me even understanding why. My relationships suffered because of it. I wouldn't let a man hug me from behind. When I finally told my mom 'yes,' she got angry and said I should have told her — but nothing else came of it. I was old enough to understand that maybe I could do something about it. I went to a police station, and a police officer told me that cases like mine usually ended with no resolution — to just let it be. So, I did. Years passed and a few months ago I decided that if the police wouldn't do anything about it, at least I would tell those at the church. They are a very structured organization. I thought at the very least they wouldn't allow him to be an elder anymore — that he wouldn’t be able to preach to people or comment in their meetings. But instead, they ignored me because they asked him, and he denied it. My sister sent a video telling them her truth. I sent a letter and still to this day they allow him to be in church, getting close to girls as if it never happened. I wish I had the strength to say it sooner, but I just couldn't. I was ashamed. I didn't want to hurt my best friend. I thought I could go through life getting over it. But it has been a long journey for me — a lot of therapy, a lot of patience, and still the hope that someday justice will be done.